Just Wait

As the title of this whole blog says, This is me. This is who I am. If you don't like the real me, then I'm sorry but you're going to have to go find someone else. Granted, I have flaws & plenty of them! But everyone does. If you're looking for the perfect girl, you won't find her. She doesn't exist. I can only hope & pray that God's love story that He is writing for me includes you in that story. I'm afraid I fell for you a long time ago, even though I really honestly never meant too. I was totally just fine with being friends when we were kids! Why couldn't it have stayed that way forever? Why does life have to change so much?!! I honestly thought I was over you several times, and, obviously, I'm still not. I"m trying to let go because I think you pretty obviously don't like me. But you are confusing me. If you like me, I wish you would just tell me already! But if you don't, which I am afraid is the more likely answer, I think I would like to know. Because, even though the truth sometimes hurts, its worth knowing so I know that chasing around after you is a waste of time. One minute I think you don't like me but then the next minute you do or say something that makes me think you might like me. Just tell me already!!! If only you knew that every time you look me in the eyes & tell me about one of the girls you like....how gorgeous they are, you break a little piece of my heart. If only you knew that every time you lean closer to me to whisper something to me, you make my heart skip a beat. If only you knew that every time I think about last summer when I thought we might have something, I long for those times over again. That is just another reminder to never take one day or relationship for granted because you never know if you will have another day or if your relationship will be the same the day after. I know God has a plan for my life and that that plan most likely includes a guy in the future. I have the rest of my life to fall in love! I wish I hadn't fallen in love quite so soon, especially when it has become evident that you really don't feel the same way. Why do we also fall for those who don't appreciate us? God is the author of my love story so, in the meantime, I plan to just wait.
P.S. I actually wrote a song titled just wait a little bit ago kind of about the same thing...it's not very good, but its an attempt at writing these thoughts to music :)